Of Bathroom Mishaps and Heavenly Warnings
by peanutbutterN'jelly-chan
Summary: When Hinata goes and gets her heart broken, Fate decides to intervene and throws her into the arms of our favorite socially-impaired Kazekage.
1. Prologue

i love cats :D

disclaimer: i do not own Naruto… (though i can't help but wish i owned Gaara… or Sasuke… *swoon*)

* * *

It had been a tiring –and absolutely _horrible _- day for Hyuuga Hinata.

For the past month, Hinata has been staying in Suna, working as a teacher in the Academy. Now, Hinata's an outstanding kunoichi, a _jounin_ even, but she has her suspicions on what she's _really_ doing here.

See, last month, Hinata has done the unthinkable- she (_finally_) confessed her feelings to Naruto-kun (who, by the way, was still hopelessly in love with a certain pink-haired kunoichi) and promptly broke down to a pathetic lump of waterworks when he shot her down (but of course, she had done this holed up in the privacy of her room, and occasionally Hanabi and Neji would attempt- and fail- to drag her outside).

Tsunade wasn't one to pry in her subordinates' love lives, but enough was _enough_. Contrary to popular belief, Hinata was _not_ a kunoichi whom was very easily ignored- turns out, _everyone_ was affected by her sudden depression.

See, a happy Hinata was a sight to behold. A _depressed_ one made _everyone_ anxious and over the edge. (Because Hinata always gave and gave and asked for nothing in return- it was very hard not to grow on her)

And so, after a week of feeling like a huge cloud was hanging over the whole of Konoha (Hinata has _no idea_ that she can affect a whole village- silly girl was so clueless sometimes), Tsunade decided to send her to Suna for a couple of months- and hopefully have her back to Konoha with a mended heart.

So, going back to _now_, it had been a tiring –and absolutely _horrible _- day for Hyuuga Hinata.

Now, if one was to look for a sign from the heavens above that something would go horribly wrong on a particular day, falling out of one's bed and landing painfully face-first on the cold hard floor would have been the first warning.

Hinata should have listened. But of course, our dear heroine was too optimistic for her own good (because she was _still_ not seriously considering suicide after being called a bitter disappointment by her father, almost killed by her cousin, and rejected by her one true love), and decided to ignore the signs.

She had glanced at the clock situated on her nightstand, and after double-checking, she had realized that she was, actually, almost late for class. She had jumped up from the floor, grabbed clothes from the dresser, and in her haste to reach the bathroom, tripped over her own feet and landed (again) face-first unto the cold hard floor. Now, this wasn't a warning anymore; the heavens was _shouting_ at her that something would go horribly wrong today.

She should have listened. Oh god, she _should have listened_.

But no- Hinata was far too optimistic to let it dampen her mood. So, with a determined stride, Hinata had skipped breakfast and made a beeline for the Academy- only to find out that her tardiness caused her eight year old students to decide to paint the whole classroom with a bunch of art supplies stacked somewhere in the back of the classroom.

The moment she had opened the door to her designated classroom, a balloon, filled with _paint_, splat her on the back of her head; thus bathing her with an unattractive shade of pink (oh goodie, her hair was _pink_, maybe Naruto-kun would like her _now_?).

The children gasped in unison, and they watched (looking very much like they were watching a horror movie by the looks on their faces) their usually soft spoken and kind hearted teacher radiate killing intent that made them want to whimper pathetically in apology.

Hinata had turned her head slowly, gave them the Hyuuga patented Glare of Doom, and said in an eerily calm voice, "Clean this up."

She had turned, walked calmly to the Academy's bathroom, and proceeded to remove the paint on her hair.

Forget about the first two warnings; this was a bloody _siren_.

But Hinata, being who she was, _ignored_ it. (The heavens above sighed and despaired)

After the incident her students had been _very_ well-behaved (and to this day Hinata has no idea how a bunch of eight year olds managed to transform a very dirty and _colorful_ classroom into a spotless one in a matter of minutes). And so, Hinata breezed through her day without trouble (because the heavens above thought she was a hopeless case at that point).

As her class came to an end, her wayward thoughts had honed in on the person she's taken to thinking for, say, her _whole life_- Naruto-kun.

Naruto-kun and Sakura-chan were probably dating, shamelessly broadcasting to everyone what a sweet and cute couple they were without feeling guilty because Hinata was miles and miles and _miles_ away from them.

Depressed and feeling very much spent, Hinata had gone straight to her quarters after class (pointedly ignoring Temari-chan's look of concern) and collapsed into bed.

But the sun was only setting, and the day was _far _from over.

(And the heavens above sighed and wondered why the Hyuuga heiress ignored all the signs that Fate had something nasty planned for her.)

* * *

Review. Please. :) Honest criticism about my (decidedly awful) grammar is welcome.


	2. The Anticipated Bathroom Mishap

Disclaimer: do not own Naruto-kun

Chapter 1

The Anticipated Bathroom Mishap

* * *

When Hinata woke up, it was already dark.

She rolled over, looked at the clock on her bedside table, then cringed when she saw it was already eleven in the evening.

Which meant she missed dinner. Which was probably a good thing, since it was Temari-chan's turn to cook. Er. Not that her cooking was not up to scratch. Not at all…

But Hinata digresses.

Right. Dinner.

Hinata got up from her bed and wandered into the halls until she reached the kitchen, where she located the fridge and started rummaging through it; she found an apple, a bowl of leftover from dinner (which looked like it was hazardously thrown into a pan in glazed panic; probably Temari-chan's cooking), a loaf of bread, a carton of milk, a tub of chocolate chip ice cream (the Kazekage's favourite; Temari-chan and Kankuro-kun often complained about Gaara-sama's addiction to it) and a bottle of water.

Hinata took the apple and the bottle of water. (She didn't dare take the ice cream, as appealing as it looks. She didn't want to be buried alive in sand, thankyouverymuch.)

Nibbling on her apple, Hinata's thoughts strayed (inevitably) to, guess who, _who else?_ – Naruto-kun.

Naruto-kun and his stupid blonde hair and his stupid whiskers and his stupid smile and his _stupid_ determination.

_Damnit_. One _month_ away from him and he's ALL she thought about the _whole _time. Something was terribly wrong with her brain.

Tossing the apple core to the trash, Hinata decided that a nice long shower was in order after the hell she's been through today – slipping face first onto the floor and receiving an impromptu paint bath and all. (The heavens above coughed.)

Hinata downed the bottle of water in three large gulps. Then, she went back to her room, grabbed a towel, and headed towards the bathroom.

(Somewhere, in a place where mere mortals like us cannot reach, Fate laughed evilly.)

(The heavens above sighed and despaired.)

* * *

Hinata walked down the hall with almost mechanical ease; though her body resided in Suna, her brain was hovering somewhere in Konoha, and as cliché as it sounds, her heart was somewhere near the vicinity of Ichiraku Ramen…

-cough-

Hinata grimaced at the door of the bathroom that she had been using for the past month.

As a ninja, Hinata had no qualms about bathing in small, cramped spaces. Bathing in a lavish bathroom meant she was back in the dreary atmosphere of the Hyuuga compound.

But, damnit, she had fallen on her face, _twice_, had been late to work, and had rushed to the Academy only to be hit with a balloon filled with _pink paint_.

She deserved that damn lavish bathroom.

(The heavens above cringed.)

Smiling to herself, Hinata walked further into the hall. Once she reached a door, her smile turned to a full fledged grin once she saw the green, emerald tiles, the sink that looked like it was actually cleaned from time to time, the toilet that didn't seem to be attached with a putrid smell, the glistening shower, and – Hinata's heart skipped a beat – a _bathtub_.

Hinata activated her Byakugan silently, looked around for a minute, deactivated it, and grinned.

As far as she was concerned, this bathroom was seldom used by anyone. And, well, Temari-chan _did_ say she can use _any_ bathroom she wanted in the building…

Anyway, even if it _was_ prohibited, Hinata doubted anyone would take a bath at this hour… Besides, she checked. No one was in the hall.

What were the chances of things going incredibly wrong?

(Fate smiled rather maliciously.)

* * *

Hinata woke up when a noise that suspiciously sounded like a door being opened then closed reached her ears.

Disoriented, Hinata's senses noted the lavender scented water she was submerged in, the bubbles and foam that hid most of her body, and her fingers that resembled prunes.

Then, her brain alerted her that _someone else_ was in the room.

Hinata panicked.

She submerged herself lower into the tub until only half her face was visible. She cast a furtive glance to the intruder…

…and almost drowned herself when a gasp escaped her.

There he was, the _Kazekage_, in all his red-haired, oblivious glory, _taking his clothes off._

Hinata let out a tiny 'meep' and closed her eyes before she could see anything.

…okay, that was a lie. She may have had peeked a bit. But only when he took his shirt off! She didn't see past his chest, _honest!_

And what a _glorious_ chest it was.

Ack! Naughty thoughts, naughty thoughts! Think of Neji-niisan kicking a puppy, or of what Gai-sensei and Lee-kun looked like after Tenten-chan made a pin cushion out of them, or of Kiba-kun's face when he stepped on dog poo, oh, and of what Gaara-sama would do to her when he realizes he's not alone in the bathroom!

…but with _that_ body and hair and eyes he could do _anything _he wantedto her –

Oh god, there it was, the hormones that she thought were non existent for the whole of her eighteen years of living. Damnit, of all the opportunities it had to make itself known, it just had to choose _now_.

She's been keeping her eyes closed for a while now. Maybe he's stepped in the shower, hidden behind a shower curtain, where her suddenly-turned-perverted eyes would not be able to see?

She peeked just to make sure.

…and froze when she saw the Kazekage was naked and was only _about to_ get in the shower.

Hinata's brain, which had been residing in Konoha, rushed cheerily back to her head in an instant. And her heart, which had been following around a certain blonde jinchuuriki, sprinted back to her chest and proceeded to beat loudly against her ribcage. And of course, her blood, which had been happily circulating in her bloodstream, all rushed up to her face.

…_holy shit. He is a fucking _god_…_

If Hinata had been herself, she would have admonished herself for sounding too much like Kiba-kun.

Her eyes, now bulging out of their sockets, soaked in the perfect view of the Kazekage's naked back; his fiery red mane, down to his elegant neck and lean back, then down to his perfectly sculpted butt –

Hinata fainted.

* * *

When Hinata woke up (for the third time that day) the shower was already running.

She wasted no time; she was in full 'save-your-life-before-the-Kazekage-sees-you-and-buries-you-in-sand' mode.

But then again, she already had an eyeful. If Gaara-sama killed her now she'd probably die happy. Provided that he does it naked, or at least scantily clothed, of course.

-cough-

Right. Back to business. (Before her hormones decide to show its ugly head again.)

Hinata rinsed as quietly as she could, grabbed the towel on the counter (and profusely thanked whatever heavenly force was up there that made her put the towel so close to the tub), and proceeded to stealthily make her escape.

Stealthily meaning quiet, fast, and _not_ slipping on the glistening bathroom floor. So far, she was doing well.

But then, she made the mistake of glancing back at Gaara-sama's outline (damn hormones!). Though the shower curtain hid most of his figure, Hinata was still able to make out his lean form. See, there's this thing called the Byakugan –

Survival instincts overrode hormones. Hinata threw stealth out the window and sprinted towards the exit while clutching her towel so tight her knuckles turned white.

She almost cried in relief when the door closed softly behind her.

But Fate was not done with her yet.

When she was about to go back to her room – her beloved _safe_ haven where there weren't any achingly beautiful Kazekages walking around naked – she found herself face to face with a heavy-eyed eyed Temari-chan and a sluggish Kankuro-kun.

Hinata wondered what the hell they were doing wandering the halls at midnight.

"Oh, Hinata-chan, hi!" Temari-chan said.

Hinata smiled uneasily. "Hello Temari-chan, Kanukuro-kun. Ano, what are you doing up so late?"

Kankuro rolled his eyes. "We should be saying the same to you, squirt. And what are you doing walking around like _that?_" Kankuro gave her towel-clad form an appraising stare. Hinata promptly turned into a tomato.

"Ano- !"

Temari scowled and viciously smacked her brother on the head. "Stop it you pervert!" She turned her head and looked back at Hinata with a cheerful smile – the change of annoyed sister to jovial friend was so fast it almost gave Hinata whiplash.

"Hinata-chan, did you just get out of _that_ bathroom?" She asked.

Hinata felt herself begin to sweat. "Er. Depends. Am I in trouble if I said yes?"

Kankuro gave an amused snort while Temari rolled her eyes. "No, silly," she said. "It's just weird, is all."

Hinata had a good idea why it was weird.

"Yeah," Kankuro continued. "This is Gaara's favorite bathroom in the building. No one ever dares use it in case he does."

She should have known that – would have saved her the trouble, and, her _virgin eyes_ –

"It was the only one with the bathtub, so…" Hinata said, just to salvage a little bit of her dignity.

Kankuro chuckled. "I sure hope it's worth risking being attacked with sand -"

"Damnit Kankuro, you're scaring her!"

"_I'm_ scaring her? One look at your _face_ makes people run away in terror!"

"At least _I_ don't wear make-up!"

"It's face paint, damnit, FACE PAINT."

"Ano, I'm just going to go now…" Hinata inched away from the bickering duo.

"Eh? But Hinata-chan, it sounds like you left the shower running."

Hinata stopped mid-escape and paled considerably "Oh. Er." She forced out a laugh. "I must have forgotten. How silly of me!"

With one last awkward smile, she turned and dashed inside the bathroom as quickly as she could, leaving Kankuro and Temari in the dust.

There was a pause.

"Well," said Temari. "Let's get that goddamn glass of water."

Kankuro grumbled after her. "It's fucking _face paint_."

* * *

Hinata wanted to cry. She really did.

She leaned back to the door and checked if Gaara-sama was still obliviously cleansing his to-die-for body.

Okay. She was safe.

For now.

She waited anxiously (meaning she was trying not to hyperventilate and collapse into a pathetic excuse for a human, and so far was succeeding) for Temari-chan's and Kankuro-kun's voices to fade away into the kitchen.

When there weren't any telltale signs of loud arguing and of the sound of fists hitting flesh echoing in the hall, Hinata deemed it safe to come out of the bathroom, _stealthily,_ race back to her room, _quickly_, close the door, and proceed to hyperventilate.

But what do you know, who suddenly decides that he was done showering?

(Fate cackled at her sheer genius.)

Gaara stepped out of the shower wrapped in a towel (_He's wearing a towel! Pity – er, I meant, thank god!)_. He ruffled his (delicious, pretty, and oh-so-red) wet hair, caught sight of her, and _stared._

Oh god. She was going to die.

Hinata proceeded to take the expression of a deer caught in headlights (to which Gaara found extremely cute, but she didn't need to know that.)

Gaara continued to stare. Unblinkingly.

"Ano…" said Hinata. Her large eyes looked at Gaara imploringly; Hinata hoped it was enough to delay the gruesome end of her rapidly shortening lifespan.

When she was about to shout the standard _"I'm sorry!"_ in the awkward (albeit cute) fashion only she could, Gaara's mouth curled upward.

It wasn't the kind of smile that he wore in his younger years; the one that promised lots of blood and gore and ripped flesh and impending doom. _This_ smile was, actually, more of a smirk; the kind that people used when a friend of theirs did something unbelievably stupid, like, say, locking oneself out in his own house.

Hinata dared not think it, but he actually looked _amused_.

She wondered vaguely if this was some sort of twisted mind game that killers played with their intended victim.

"Why are you still here?" Gaara asked. If he had eyebrows, he would probably be raising one.

Hinata tried to burrow herself into the door, but monumentally failed. She wanted to say "I was taking a bath, then suddenly _you_ waltzed in and ruined everything," but she only managed a small, squeaky, unimpressive "eep."

"I thought I gave you enough time to leave," Gaara continued leisurely, as if a kunoichi (a hot and incredibly cute one, at that) violating his private time was a daily occurrence.

Hinata's mind paused, made an effort to process what it heard, then reeled once it was able to analyze his words.

"Eh?" She said, intelligently. He knew she was there?

That made sense. Gaara was the Kazefreakingkage, it was stupid to think that he didn't notice her, _at all_, even with the little to no noise she had made. It would explain why he wasn't seething and wasn't trying to chop her head off. Heh. Her life _wasn't_ in danger, he knew she was there all along-

Waitaminute.

"You _knew_ I was here? All this time?" Hinata asked, bravely, after she found her voice.

Gaara had the audacity to look amused. "Of course I did." Then he gave her a look that implied he thought she had asked a very stupid question.

"And now you've overstayed your welcome. Leave."

Gaara's word was law. No one defied him unless absolutely necessary, or if you were suicidal, or if you were Temari-chan.

It seemed as if Hinata was in a very suicidal mood that night.

"But, ano…" said Hinata, uncertainly.

Her sensitive ninja senses were tingling, and they were telling her that Kankuro-kun and Temari-chan had just gotten their fair share of water and were heading back to their rooms; which meant they were somewhere in the far end of the hall and would probably see her come out of the bathroom, see that Gaara was inside still, and come to the conclusion that they had used the bathroom at the same time.

Which would probably be a bad thing. Because then a rumor about a secret tryst between the Kazekage and the Hyuuga heiress would spread like wild fire in Suna, and would possibly reach all the way to Konoha, where all her friends were, and-

Oh god. What would her _father_ say?

This train of thought passed through Hinata's mind in just a few seconds.

"But, I can't, Kankuro-kun and Temari-chan are out there!" She said, bravely.

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "Leave." He said. He meant business. He was using his Kazekage voice.

"But- but! What if they see us! They'll think something's up, even though there isn't, and there'll be rumors-"

"I said. Leave." There was the unspoken threat there, she knew, but Hinata would rather die than face the wrath of her father.

"But-"

"Rumors do not concern me."

"It concerns _me_!"

Gaara regarded her thoughtfully for a minute. His sea-foam eyes took in her rigid stature, her hands that were wringing her towel so tightly her knuckles were turning white, her eyes that were glazed in panic, and her lips that were trembling slightly in trepidation.

It was the standard posture to follow when one is agitated.

This was the first time an agitated person stood before him and shuddered because of something _else._

Impressive feat, he reckoned.

"Hn." He said, finally. He watched as Hinata changed from absolutely terrified to pathetically hopeful. "Fine. Stay. I don't care what you do."

Hinata felt as if a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders. She could distinctly hear Kankuro-kun's and Temari-chan's voices getting nearer.

Just a few more minutes, and she could leave this horrifyingly embarrassing experience and store it in the part of her mind that was labeled 'forget immediately'. On a lighter note, Gaara seemed to be ignoring her and was busying himself with something on the counter.

Hinata's eyes widened. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

Gaara stared at her blankly. "What does it look like?"

She watched with growing horror as Gaara fished out his clothes, then hooked his fingers on the towel on his waist and started to unwrap it.

"S-stop!" said Hinata. She covered her eyes with her hand that wasn't clutching her towel. "You can't do that _now_. I'm still here!"

Gaara snorted uncharacteristically. "I saw you staring earlier. What's stopping you now?"

Hinata proceeded to impersonate a ripe tomato. "I d-didn't see p-past your w-waist, honest!"

Oh good lord, her stutter was back with a vengeance.

"Hn." Gaara said.

Hinata, embarrassed within an inch of her life, turned around and opted to listen to the voices outside instead of the rustle of cloth behind her.

It seemed as if Kankuro-kun and Temari-chan were trapped in a heated argument that involved a lot of violence. By the sound of things, they had stopped walking to focus on their, er, disagreement.

It sounded as if they were only ten steps away from the door.

Hinata despaired.

"I'm done."

She turned to see a (thankfully) dressed Gaara. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Hinata wondered why she didn't think of bringing a change of clothes to the bathroom.

Oh, yeah. She was under the assumption that _no one_ wandered these parts of the building at midnight. How utterly wrong she was.

Gaara moved purposefully to the door, to which Hinata was trying to glue herself to, and glared at her.

"Please move, Hyuuga-san," said Gaara.

Hinata, in an act of bravery (and quite possibly stupidity), scowled at him. "No." No way in _hell_, Kankuro-kun and Temari-chan were still out there!

"Hyuuga-san," said Gaara, with a tone that one may use on a friend whom you want to kill but cannot because of your belief in ethics. "You may want to stay, but I want to leave. So. Move."

Hinata looked up to his face and tried to glare, but failed once she saw his tired, exhausted face. She remembered, once, how Temari-chan constantly complained about Gaara-sama's tendency to push himself to his limits; to the point that he did not sleep for a week.

Tonight was probably one of those days, and it seemed as if he has already reached his limit.

Outside, Kankuro-kun's and Temari-chan's voices continued to rage.

"Just a few more minutes, Kazekage-sama. Temari-chan and Kankuro-kun are bound to leave," reasoned Hinata.

"No," said Gaara. Hinata felt herself begin to panic. "Goodbye, Hyuuga-san."

Gaara moved closer and wrapped his hand around the doorknob. Before he could turn it, however, Hinata's hand enclosed around his.

Gaara's eyes flashed. Hinata gulped and saw her life flash before her eyes.

"Wait-!" Hinata tried to say, but it was no use. His hand began to turn, and Hinata was utterly useless in stopping him.

Desperate situations call for desperate actions.

And so, in an act that may possibly end her life, Hinata tiptoed, put her other hand on his cheek, and raised her lips to his.

The birds stopped chirping. Cats and dogs and rats all stopped what they were doing. The world titled on its axis and stopped turning. The universe as we know it sucked in on itself. Lee-kun shaved his eyebrows and set fire to his green leotard suit. (No, not really.)

Gaara remained very still as Hinata's soft lips touched his own.

_Why isn't he moving? Why isn't he stopping me? More importantly, why isn't he trying to kill me?_

Hinata, not thinking anymore, swept her tongue to his lower lip. Gaara, though not responding, allowed her tongue to dart into his warm mouth. Her tongue caressed the inside of his cheek, his teeth, and his tongue.

Vaguely, Hinata could make out a shout of "SHUT UP KANKURO" and a noise that sounded like a massive fan hitting a head.

Hinata tried to pull away, but at the exact same moment Gaara's soul seemed to return to his body. His hands encircled her waist and his warm tongue met hers.

Her response was instant; she moaned softly and her arms moved to wrap around his neck.

Kankuro's and Temari's voices faded from the hall completely, but the two occupants of the bathroom didn't take notice. Instead, they busied themselves with the sweet union of their mouths.

Hinata felt his hands move lower to her hips, and his lips disengaged from her mouth and traveled to her jaw, then down to her neck. In the haze of her mind, the sensible part of her screamed to not let herself be affected in his (wonderful, delicious) ministrations.

Hinata managed to snap out of her Gaara induced haze when she felt something hard push on her thigh.

"Ano!" Hinata said, her face resembling a tomato. "I-can't-hear-them-anymore-so-bye!"

She moved to open the door, but when she was about to turn the knob Gaara's hand enclosed around hers.

Gaara was wearing a smirk that could only be described as devious.

"No, I think I can still hear them."

"Eh-?"

His lips connected to hers before she could react. She tried to fight it. Really, she did. But then his tongue started doing wonderful things to her mouth, and she felt herself relent. Involuntarily, she felt herself succumb to his warm lips and tongue and intoxicating smell.

In a matter of seconds, they resembled more of a lover's tangle more than anything.

His body pulled hers into his, as if they were trying to mold into each other. His lips and tongue trailed where he left off earlier. He'd leave little bites here and there, and as he did Hinata voiced out a cute little whimper.

Hinata's hands busied themselves in pulling his hair. Her lips would occasionally meet his, until he went lower to abuse her neck with his teeth and tongue.

Hinata only acknowledged the loud warning bells in her head when she felt Gaara's hands slowly loosening her flimsy towel.

In an instant, Hinata had pulled away from his warmth and had forcefully shoved his body away from hers. "They're-not-there-anymore!"

She tightened her towel, opened the door before Gaara could make a grab of her, and made a beeline to her room. When she was sure she was in the privacy of her room, she leaned on the door and promptly began to hyperventilate.

Gaara watched her leave and didn't try to stop her.

If she had perchance looked back when she was making her grand escape, she would have seen the devious smirk on his face and the predatory gleam in his eyes.

(Fate patted herself on the back for a job well done.)

* * *

Well. I hope you guys enjoyed. Please review, I would REAAAALLY appreciate it! I was thinking of making more chapters for this story, so what do you think?

Feedback please! And review! :D


	3. Evasion at its Worst

I'M BAAAACK. I'm terribly sorry for not updating sooner, but such is the life of a procrastinating college freshman with the tendency to cram. And I would like to say THANK YOU! for all the positive reviews, it really made my stone heart swell :)

Anyhow, this is the next chapter and feel free to criticize my writing skills (or lack thereof). I'm not really confident with this one, but I hope you like it. :D

Disclaimer: Naruto-kun is not mine. Though I do hope Sasuke was. And Itachi. And Gaara. *squeal*

* * *

Chapter 2

Evasion at its Worst

* * *

It was a beautiful day.

Sunlight streamed through drifting clouds, giving Suna a surreal light. Little birds chirped cheerily on their respective branches, as if welcoming the brand new day with a merry song that put Disney to shame. Dogs and cats decided to ignore each other for a while and opted to stretch lazily under the warm morning sun.

Everyone was in a cheery mood.

But not Hinata.

Hinata was in a _very_ bad mood.

Sulkily, she looked at her clock and thought that yes, in three hours she would have to get to work, and yes, she ought to start getting ready lest an unfortunate turn of events cause her to be late for class _again_, and she wouldn't want that, would she?

With a sigh, Hinata stumbled tiredly towards her closet. She grabbed a change of clothes and a towel and moodily stalked towards the bathroom.

No, not _that_ bathroom. She was never going in there. Not _ever_. Not in her _life_.

…but just to make sure, she activated her Byakugan and looked around for a minute.

Okay. She was safe.

For now.

Hinata picked the bathroom farthest from the one she had picked last night. It made her feel a bit better. And, well, less paranoid. And more unlikely to encounter an incredibly hot Kazekage and consequently be thoroughly ravished.

Though that wasn't necessarily a _bad _thing –

Oh god. There it was again; her formerly dormant hormones that decided to reveal its existence last night when she happened to stumble upon a naked Kazekage with the silkiest hair she has ever been privy to touch (Neji-niisan never let her touch his), the most smoldering eyes she has ever had the fortune of seeing, and the most perfectly sculpted _butt –_

Hinata despaired.

(The heavens above despaired with her.)

Grimacing, Hinata set her clothes down on the counter then turned to the sink to brush her teeth. In the process, she had a quick glance of her complexion; the tired eyes, the pale cheeks, the messy hair, the –

She paused.

Then slowly, _painfully_, her heart constricted and her eyes widened.

No.

Oh _no_.

There, where her jaw and her neck connected, was a dark bruise. There was another one just below it. And _another_ one near her collar bone.

Gaara had given her _three_ hickeys.

With a glare that gave the impression that she might have been channeling Neji, Hinata scowled at the reflection of her poor, abused, bruised neck.

That son of a _bitch!_

* * *

Meanwhile, Gaara was having a _wonderful_ day.

It was the first time he had slept in _days_. And he didn't have any nightmares this time; meaning no blood, no gore, no traitorous bastards, and more importantly, no strange voices that suspiciously sounded like Shukaku taunting him in the depths of his mind.

All there was in his dreams was a variety of PG-rated activities he did with a dark-haired girl who stared up at him with wide, innocent pale eyes.

Truth be told, all he wanted to do last night was to take a relaxing shower and stagger off to bed to fall into a fitful sleep that would probably involve lots of nightmares.

But then a shy little kunoichi soaking in the bathtub decided to make herself seem interesting. See, Gaara had been watching her for a while now. She has the most _bizarre_ reactions to everything; she blushed a lot (he had discovered last night that yes, her blush _does_ go down to her chest), and she does this poking thing with her fingers (at first he had considered it unprofessional because she kept doing it whenever she gave her reports, but after a while it had strangely grown on him), and when he exerts enough scary-Kazekage-aura she stammers a bit when she speaks (which he found cute, but he wasn't about to tell anyone that).

And, well, she was probably the only female in Suna aside from Temari that wasn't a fangirl.

He _wanted_ to see what she'd do if she, say, saw him taking his clothes off.

He couldn't really resist.

And so, last night (which the heavens above have labeled as the 'most disastrous divine intervention ever'), he stumbled upon an unsuspecting little kunoichi in the bathtub, and in a momentary lapse of intelligence, had decided to deliberately undress in front of her _slowly_. He actually felt a bit stupid about it, but her flustered expression made it all worth it.

It was _so _worth it.

He had been right when he thought she would turn to a flustered mess of blushes and stammers.

What he _didn't_ count on was how much courage the girl hid behind all those layers of shyness by _kissing_ him. (Or maybe she was just suicidal.)

See, arguing and raising your voice to the Kazekage required a lot of courage (unless you were Temari, in which you wouldn't need any at all) and would be punishable with a heart-stopping glare, or in worst cases (or if you were Kankuro), an impromptu intimate meeting with sand. But touching him was a whole new level altogether.

_Kissing_ him would mean death and utter destruction. And if the one who did was perchance a fangirl or a fan_boy_, then there would be extra blood and gore for everyone.

But Hinata was no fangirl (or fanboy; she was too curvy to be one), and she was far too pretty to be shred to bloody little bits.

Gaara wasn't gonna lie.

Hinata was _gorgeous_. Everything about her was pale; her doe eyes, her slender neck, her slim shoulders, down to her cute small feet; all except for her dark, dark hair that fell in waves down her small back and her dark, long lashes that framed her wide, frightened eyes.

And she had the right curves in all the right places. He knew, because he _felt_ it with his own hands last night.

And the _innocence_ that radiated off her like a beacon awoke his predatory instincts (it's arguable that it may have been an influence of Shukaku lingering in the recesses of his mind). It was as if her whole being was screaming 'ravish me!' without really meaning to.

He _did_ ravish her. Heartily so.

But the look she had given him after their, er, intimate connection promised that she would definitely avoid him like a plague for the rest of her stay here in Suna.

Silly girl, that was _impossible_. She still had to give her weekly reports to him _personally, _alone with _him_ in his _secluded_ office…

He should really stop that line of thinking. It wasn't very Kazekage-ish to take advantage of an unwilling kunoichi. He was quite certain it was classified under 'sexual assault' or, worse, 'rape'.

But then again it wouldn't really be rape if she was a willing participant –

Gaara sighed as he made his way to breakfast.

_Fine_. He was going to leave the situation alone and act like nothing ever happened. He wasn't about to force her into some weird arrangement just so he could satisfy his libido because really, stuff like that had a huge potential for drama, and based from Kankuro's past experiences, drama mixed with _girls_ just meant a migraine.

All he had to do was control his hormones for a few months until the Hyuuga heiress leaves and everything will go back to the way it was before.

It's not as if he'll catch one whiff of her scent and suddenly he'll be all gaga over her. That's utterly ridiculous.

He had been able to restrain himself from slaughtering everyone in his line of vision when Shukaku was still inside him; restraining himself to kiss a girl _without_ Shukaku's influence would be a piece of cake.

What could possibly go wrong?

(Fate laughed maliciously.)

(The heavens above sighed. Don't these humans know that questions like that jinxed them?)

* * *

Temari was trying to make pancakes when Hinata walked in with an expression that suggested that whatever it was that she never ever wanted to happen to her had already happened.

Temari gave her an odd look. "Why are you wearing a turtleneck?" She asked. Then, as an after thought, she added, "Whatever happened to your beloved jacket? Finally found the courage to throw that ugly thing away?"

Hinata colored. "Ano. It, er, ripped…?"

Temari made a show of rolling her eyes and flipping a pancake from the frying pan at the same time. "Good _riddance_. Now, if you rip _that_ turtleneck and replace it with something a little more revealing –"

"No, this is fine!" Hinata said hurriedly. Then, she sniffed. "Temari-chan, I can smell something burning…"

Temari paused.

"Oh crap!" She yelled, once she saw the pancake she had been flipping for the past five minutes had turned from golden brown to a horrible black.

She attempted to salvage the pancake from further burning by shoving it in a plate, but she miscalculated the force she exerted on the spatula. The pancake thrust upwards into the air and hit the ceiling. Temari and Hinata gave it a blank stare and waited for it to fall on the floor.

It didn't.

"…would you like some help?"

Temari glared at Hinata. "_No_. I can make pancakes by myself!"

"Temari-chan."

Temari sighed and gave Hinata a pout that was reminisce to Hanabi-chan sulking when Hinata's too busy to bake chocolate chip cookies. "Fine, you can help me. Lord knows how much my brothers want _edible_ food."

Hinata stifled her giggle with a cough.

Temari saw through it and gave her a nasty glare.

Fifteen minutes later, a delicious smell was wafting all over the kitchen.

"You're good at cooking." Temari said, sulkily. "Very good."

Hinata gave her a cheery smile. "Ne, let's do this again some time. Cooking with you is fun!"

Temari begrudgingly took a bite from one of the pile of pancakes. She closed her eyes as a glazed look crossed her face. "So delicious…"

Kankuro strolled in a second later with a mesmerized look on his face, as if he was guided to the kitchen by his sense of smell alone. "Something smells nice…" He said. His eyes zeroed in on the plate of pancakes on the table, and a drop of saliva drooled from his mouth. He reached out and held a pancake in his hands the same way a devoted Christian would hold the holy grail.

He took a bite.

…And was instantly transported to heaven.

"So… Good…"

Temari took another bite and nodded in agreement.

"Midget, this settles it. You're cooking _everyday_," said Kankuro, his voice a bit muffled from the pancake he was savoring in his mouth.

Hinata pointedly ignored the jab at her height and blushed abashedly. "But Temari-chan told me I shouldn't because I'm a guest –"

"Forget what I said." Temari clipped. "This is too good to pass up. I bet even Gaara would agree."

As if on cue, a bored-looking Gaara walked into the kitchen.

And, in a bizarre turn of events (or Fate just had a horribly twisted sense of humor and wanted a good laugh once in a while), the pancake stuck on the ceiling unstuck itself and, (the Universe held its breath) dropped right on top of Gaara's head.

There was a tense silence as the other three occupants of the room froze and acquired varied looks of shock and horror.

Oh _shit. _They were all going to die, he'll have no mercy! He's going skin them alive and slice them into tiny bloody bits, and he was going to leave their gross carcasses in the middle of the dessert where the vultures could feed on them, and why isn't he doing anything?

When nothing happened but an awkward silence, Temari, Kankuro and Hinata deemed it safe to think that Gaara wasn't going to feed them to the vultures. Relieved, the Universe released the breath it was holding.

And the other three occupants of the room burst into laughter.

Gaara scowled and glared at them. "It's not funny," he said as he peeled the burnt _thing _from his crimson locks. He gave it a critical stare as he held it between his fingers. After a few seconds of intense scrutiny, he wrinkled his nose at it and decided it wasn't worth his time as he threw it into the trash with deadly precision.

Hinata found it all awfully cute. Then she blinked, backtracked, and brutally stomped the thought bubble that had the audacity to suggest that Gaara-sama was _cute_.

Gaara's piercing gaze traveled to her. Hinata stiffened and her giggles stuck itself on her throat. "A-ano," she managed to squeak, while internally reprimanding herself for stuttering pathetically. "I'm going to be late!"

Gaara's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to say no, she isn't, but Temari was faster. "Okay Hinata-chan, see you later!"

"And don't forget to cook dinner!" Kankuro added.

Hinata waved at them cheerily and looked at everywhere but at Gaara's general direction. "Ja!"

With one last awkward smile, Hinata dashed off towards the Academy.

The Sand siblings were left in the kitchen in their own devices. Kankuro wolfed down pancakes, Temari gazed out thoughtfully from the window, and Gaara tried not to think of how wonderful it would feel to rip off Hinata's turtleneck and let his hands roam all over her bare chest.

It was peaceful.

That is, until– "Oi, Tem, I bet you could _never_ whip up pancakes that are _edible_."

Then– "_What_ did you say?"

And all hell broke loose.

* * *

Gaara scowled at the growing pile of paperwork on his desk and wished, not for the first time, that glaring at it could scare it away into oblivion and save his brain from further headaches.

But alas, it is not so.

He sulked for a total of thirty seconds, then he berated himself and forced his hand to take a pen and a page from his mountainous paperwork.

A minute later, the door of his office burst open, and the resulting whish of air sent some of the papers piled on his desk to flutter to the floor.

Gaara's eye twitched. He glared at the intruder, who could only be either one of his siblings, because only _they_ would be able to slam his door open and live to tell the tale (though it doesn't necessarily mean they'd live without a few blackeyes and bruises here and there).

It was Temari.

"What do you want." Gaara said. Grains of sand poured out of the gourd resting on his side; dutifully, it went to the floor and picked up the fallen papers and put it back on the desk.

Grumbling, she stacked _another_ pile of paperwork on his desk.

Gaara blanched.

"Ugh, that goddamn _Kankuro_. I swear to god when I get my hands on his slimy little neck-"

Expertly, Gaara blocked out Temari's temper tantrum and instead focused on critically inspecting the new pile of work to do.

"I don't get why he keeps insulting my culinary skills! A little encouragement would be nice, but noooo. _He_ doesn't even know the difference of a frying pan and a rice cooker! He has some nerve-"

Gaara felt like pointing out that he didn't know either, but he decided against it. If he provoked Temari a little more his paperwork might fly off and be never seen again.

"Am I really so hopeless in the cooking department?"

There was a pause as Gaara wisely kept his mouth shut to prevent himself from blurting out the first thing that came to mind. "I'm sure you'll do better with practice."

Temari's face broke into a bright grin. "Thanks, little brother."

Gaara ignored that warm thing on his chest called his heart and shrugged. Then, he turned his attention back to his paperwork. He was halfway through, just a few more minutes and he could squeeze in some training before his appointment with the Elders-

Temari decided not to take notice of Gaara's general unresponsiveness and continued on to prattle about how annoying Kankuro was, not like Gaara, who was such a nice brother, so could he maybe send her to a mission in Konoha? Not that she wanted to see a certain pineapple-head genius or something, that's utterly ridiculous!

Gaara made a mental note about the pineapple-head genius bit. "I'll think about it," he said distractedly as he grabbed his pen and signed on a particularly important-looking paper.

"Speaking of Konoha," said Temari. "Does Hinata-chan seem a bit depressed to you? I've heard from a very reliable source that she confessed her undying love to Naruto but was turned down, the poor thing…"

Gaara's pen came to a halt.

"Oh?" he said. So he wouldn't look suspicious, he pretended to keep himself busy. His eyes skimmed over the page on his hands, but the letters didn't really register on his mind.

"Goddamn Naruto, it's so typical of him to be so insensitive. Hinata-chan's been condemned by her whole family, and now that Uzumaki brat stomps on her heart."

Interesting. Very Interesting.

"Hn," said Gaara.

Temari was about to rant about how Hinata-chan's cute, smart, kind, and generally a _very_ good catch when she saw the devious smirk on her little brother's face.

Her blood ran cold.

She _knew_ that smirk. Oh no, don't worry, it wasn't the maniacal one he used back when he was still prone to homicidal rampages. This one- it was _much_ scarier.

It was the dreaded plotting smirk.

The last time she saw it was a week ago when Kankuro had been dumb enough to eat Gaara's precious stack of chocolate chip ice cream. The next day he found _his_ precious stack of porn magazines burned to ashes.

Temari genuinely worried for the poor soul Gaara was plotting against.

Hinata nervously made her way to the kitchen. Her eyes kept darting around, and any glimpse of red made her breath hitch and her lips tremble.

But she promised to make dinner! She wasn't going to run straight into her room to hide like some coward; though the idea does sound very appealing–

"Hinata-chan!"

Turning, Hinata saw Temari grinning at her from the kitchen's doorway. "Don't think you can run away from cooking dinner!"

Hinata blushed embarrassedly. "I wouldn't think such a thing."

Minutes later, as Temari stirred the contents of the pot on the stove, Hinata sifted through the collection of spices in the cabinets and asked, offhandedly, "Temari-chan, why aren't the servants cooking your meals for you?"

Temari's eyes glazed and a thoughtful look crossed her face. "I'm sure you know that Gaara had a very rough childhood. Everyone was out to kill him, so he didn't trust _anybody_." She paused to lift the spatula from the pot and brought it to her lips to taste.

"It doesn't mean that he's Kazekage now that people will stop trying to kill him and poison his food. I hope you understand."

She did. She was the heiress of a very powerful clan looked down upon by her family; and it was no secret the Hyuuga would gladly get rid of her. It would be very convenient if she suddenly dropped dead from food poisoning.

"I'm glad that you trust me, then," said Hinata, with the warmest smile Temari has ever seen on her.

Temari's eyes looked suspiciously wet. "Of course, you silly girl. It's hard not to."

* * *

The only thing that made dinner not awkward was Kankuro's incessant praises of Hinata's culinary skills.

Temari was giving Gaara a calculating stare, who was staring unabashedly at Hinata, who was squirming under the unwanted attention.

The tension was so thick it could be cut by the blunt end of a butter knife.

Temari watched as Gaara's intense eyes remained fixated on Hinata's blushing form as he mechanically ate his dinner. Then slowly, _slowly,_ a smirk appeared on his face.

Temari almost coughed out her dinner. And judging from Hinata's frightened rigid form, she saw it too.

_What the hell is he up to?_

"Damn, Hinata-chan!" Kankuro said, who was still oblivious to the tension suffocating the room. "I haven't eaten like this in years! You're such a good cook, unlike _someone_ I know-"

Temari's head whipped to her other more annoying brother. "What was that?"

Hinata, sensing another sibling war would break out, put down her barely touched dinner and excused herself.

Once she was out of the door and she was sure no one was watching her, she made a beeline to her room.

If she had looked back, she would have seen how Gaara's stare followed her until she disappeared from the doorway. She would have seen how he put down his already empty bowl, and how he excused himself from his squabbling siblings who weren't giving him much thought at the moment.

She would have seen the devious smirk on his face, and the predatory gleam in his sea-foam eyes.

(In her lair where mere mortals like us cannot possibly reach, Fate sat back on her Chair of Doom and grinned evilly.)

* * *

Remember what he said about how it wasn't very Kazekage-ish to take advantage of an unwilling kunoichi? And how he was going to leave the situation alone and act like nothing ever happened?

Yeah, well.

Fuck that.

He may be the Kazekage and the saving grace of Suna's falling economy, but he was _also_ a hormonal eighteen year old who suddenly has the perfect opportunity of exploring the pleasures of the opposite sex standing right in front of him– or, to put it more accurately, hiding behind the door he was standing in front of.

He'd be damned if he let this cute, awkward little kunoichi slip from his reach.

The door was locked, no surprise there, so he let his sand slip through the cracks in the doorway.

A few seconds later, the door opened ominously with a soft click, revealing the surprisingly not-so-tidy room of Hyuuga Hinata, who was poised in the act of escaping through the window.

Upon further inspection, one may notice that Hinata remained unmoving because of the bands of sand that held her arms and feet.

"K-kazekage-sama," she said.

_Kami_, if she kept looking at him with that frightened deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression he might ravish her _now_ and ask questions _later_, which is all as well because she wouldn't be able to move or fight back anyway–

"What do you want?" Hinata asked. She mentally patted herself on the back for not stuttering even _once_, and for sounding brave even though she was feeling everything but that at the moment.

"Hn," said Gaara. More sand poured out from the gourd strapped on his back and obediently slithered on the floor towards the door to lock it. Hinata tensed even more and tried, again, to cut through the sand enveloping her arms with her chakra, but failed. She grimaced and wondered if Gaara-sama had come to finally finish her off.

Gaara walked purposefully towards Hinata's rigid form- no, he _sauntered_- there was no other word to describe it. The grim determination in his eyes and the decidedly predatory way that he moved made him look so graceful and scary and so goddamn _sexy_ that Hinata's instincts were having trouble figuring out whether to escape or to stay put.

_Well_, said the optimistic part of Hinata's mind, _if he kills me now, at least I get an exclusive view of smexy predatory Kazekage-sama before I die._

Hinata felt the sand around her limbs shift; it jerked her and forced her back against the wall. Breathless, Hinata closed her eyes as the impact of the collision shook her body.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself an inch away from a pair of smoldering green eyes.

Hinata despaired and feared for her life. Her blood rushed to her face. Her hormones jumped in joy and did a happy dance.

"Gaara-sama," said Hinata, and if she was under any normal circumstance she would have cringed at the begging tone of her voice. "What –?"

"Hinata," interrupted Gaara, in a voice that was sweet as honey and smooth as velvet and sexy as _hell_ that Hinata grew thankful for the sand that was holding her limbs. His pale hands fingered the hitai-ite tied around her neck. With a flick of his wrist it fell to the floor with a clang. His fingers traced the line of her jaw, then stopped as the high collar of her turtleneck hindered him. Hinata, with her heart beating loudly against her ribcage, watched as Gaara folded her collar and revealed the bruises that littered her neck.

Gaara stared at it intensely before moving his smoldering gaze towards Hinata's confused and conflicted eyes.

"G-gaara–"

Gaara seemed to have a penchant for interrupting her speech; before she could say the standard 'sama' before his name, his soft lips crashed down to hers.

It started chaste and innocent and sweet, but it turned hot and passionate as their tongues met and clashed with each other.

Hinata whimpered softly as Gaara pulled away reluctantly; his hands had stayed cupping her face for the whole duration of their kiss, and if they went any further his hands might roam and do other things they might both regret.

Hinata gave an experimental tug on her limbs and found with disappointment that the sand still made movement impossible.

Gaara rested his forehead against hers. He turned his intense gaze toward Hinata's cautious one and said in his deep voice, "I have a proposition to make."

(At that exact moment, the heavens above _finally_ chose the right instance to intervene divinely.)

Before he could elaborate any further, a loud knock resounded through the room. Gaara and Hinata stiffened and whipped their heads toward the source of the noise.

"Oi, Hinata-chan!" Temari's voice reverberated from behind the door. "I know you're in there, so open up!"

"Hn," said Gaara. The sand around her limbs slid away from her and glided towards his gourd. Without the sand supporting her, Hinata slid to the floor with an 'umph.'

Gaara gave her an amused look. Then, he bent down until his face was level to hers and gave her a lingering chaste kiss on the lips. Once they parted, he told her in a low voice that sent a shiver down her spine, "I will come back tomorrow."

As Temari grew more persistent in knocking down her door, Gaara disappeared in a wall of sand.

Breathless and confused as hell, Hinata was left gaping at the now empty space Gaara had been residing in just seconds ago.

Outside, Temari scowled. "Hinata…?"

* * *

Please review! ;) By the way, I love cats. Just saying. :3


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